Whether we like it or not, socializing is a part of life. Sometimes it can really pay off to showcase the most effervescent and magnetic side of ourselves. It's why knowing how to be the life of the party is an great tool to have at our disposal, even if we secretly feel like curling up at home on the couch with a blanket and a Mad Men marathon.
Psychology Today notes that extroverts make up between 50 to 74% of the population. So up to half of us are introverts, meaning we don’t particularly enjoy playing the role of the party person. Introversion and extroversion aside, some of us are just plain shy and being the center of attention isn't exactly our dream scenario in any situation.
But in the real world, sometimes it pays to turn up the charm, and if we do have to socialize, putting our best foot forward is better than being a wallflower.
For anyone needing to up their social game HERE ARE 10 Surefire Tips to Be the Life of the Party
1. Choose Your Spot WiselyAccording to body language expert Janine Driver, deciding where you stand at a party is the first step in attracting others. "When you arrive, grab one or two of your friends and head straight for the middle of the room. As other people walk in, you'll appear to be the center of attention, and they'll naturally gravitate towards you."
2. Show Some Shoulder Driver also noted that the more shoulder and arm you show off (especially in colder months) the more you'll stand out. "Wear a strapless dress that maximizes the amount of shoulder you show off. Make sure it's a solid color such as red, fuchsia or turquoise (patterns cause you to blend in).
3. Put Your Phone Away
One of the fastest ways to make yourself seem unapproachable is by being preoccupied with your phone. Instead, make sure always to be totally engaged in what's happening around you — people notice when another person is truly involved, especially because it's rarer than ever now.
4. Compliment Someone
According to Vanessa Van Edwards, the Lead-Investigator at the Science of People, “Research has found that there is a direct correlation between giving someone a compliment and their overall performance.” Japanese researchers wanted to know if compliments could change someone’s performance in addition to their brain activity, so they divided 48 adults that had all learned the same activity into groups of three. The first group had a person who would compliment participants individually; the second group would watch other members receive a compliment, and the third group was made up of individuals who evaluated their own performance. When all of the participants were asked to repeat same activity the following day, the first group which received direct compliments outperformed all other groups. This study is amazingly helpful in social situations. An example Vanessa gives is, whenever she is speaking with someone at a party or networking event, and the conversation is pleasant, she will say something like, “Wow, this is fun. You are a great conversationalist!” It’s as if you turned on the interesting faucet and now it is flowing. When you compliment someone in a genuine way it activates the brain and they begin to perform even better.
5. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Another great technique Vanessa teaches is to ask open-ended questions to help you better understand the views, opinions, and feelings of others. This will make them feel at ease, and you will often get honest and heartfelt answers. A huge part of being the life of the party is guiding a conversation and keeping it lively and exciting.
6. Eyebrow Flash
According to Alan Pease - Australian Body Language Expert, the eyebrow flash is a universal gesture. We perform this gesture subconsciously to draw attention to the face so clear signals can be exchanged. The eyebrows rise for a split second and then drop again. Doing this acknowledges the other person’s presence and opens up a channel for communication. Try this test to see how the eyebrow flash works for you – sit in the lobby of a hotel or near the entrance of a coffee shop and eyebrow flash everyone who passes by you. You will see that not only will others return the eyebrow flash and smile at you, but many will actually come over and talk to you. Eyebrow flash people you like or those who you want to like you.
7. Nod and Tilt
To be a fascinating person I recommended using these techniques when listening to others speak:Nod your head whenever you agree with the speaker. It is very easy to do and conveys warmth, agreement and pleasantness to the other person. Charles Darwin noted that humans as well as animals, especially dogs, tilt their heads when they become interested in something. It has also been found that if you tip your head to one side you can change someone’s impression of you from arrogant and unsociable to kind and thoughtful – it even makes you look more trustworthy – but note, for best results, tilt to the right.
8. Stay Engaged
Always give your full attention to the person you’re speaking with. Keep good eye contact, don’t let your eyes wander during a conversation. Make sure to show them you’re interested both verbally and nonverbally and express a genuine interest in what they have to say. All these things can go a long way in the level of influence you have with the people you speak with in any environment.
9. Point Your Feet Towards the Person That Is Speaking
In a piece for The Huffington Post, behavioral author Vanessa Van Edwards stressed the importance of open body language that sends the message that you're harmless, interested, and approachable. She said to keep your feet pointed towards the person that is speaking, keep your arms and legs uncrossed if possible, and keep your head tilted — all are subconscious signs of attraction.
And finally, Driver suggested that we shouldn’t be afraid to casually touch others. "When you're chatting with someone, casually place a hand on his or her arm," Driver said. "Touch triggers good feelings and signals special treatment — so not only will the person you're talking to like you more, other people will wish they were the object of your attention."
**Social Magnetism isn't an exact science, but the great news is there are a ton of things you can do to up your charm and improve your party game. So utilize some or all of the above tips, and don't forget to enjoy yourself!**
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