The Steeple: The steeple is made with the fingers pressed together and pointing toward the sky – resembling a church steeple. The steeple gesture signifies confidence, power, and authority. If you want to get your point across to a friend or co-worker, whip out the steeple. This silent gesture conveys the message that you’re confident in your delivery and you have wisdom to share. It subconsciously tells the receiver that you indeed know what you’re talking about, even if you don’t. Warning: Don’t use when building rapport because it can seem arrogant. Do use at the end of a job interview or end of a date!
2. Fronting: We show agreement, liking, and loyalty by aligning the upper body with that, e.g.,
of our boss. It is often possible to identify the most powerful (i.e., highest status) person
seated at seated at a conference table by the relative number of torsos aimed in his or her
direction. While the less influential may glance freely about, and turn their heads toward
colleagues as they speak, their torsos remain loyally oriented to the individual they most
respect. Aiming the upper body conveys greater feelings of liking (i.e., of immediacy) than
when the body is angled away. A non-aligned, parallel orientation discloses neutral or
passive moods which may grade into disliking or disagreement.
3. Palms: Palms up vs. Palms down – When you ask someone about their vacation with your
palms downs you are saying, “I don’t want to hear about what you did and by the way we
talked about you in the office while you were away!” I use this gesture with my kids when I
want them to stop doing something or when they were little and would get close to the
street. You see this used in law enforcement when they say, “Get down on the ground!” The
palm down gesture is aggressive! You do it when you are trying to get someone’s attention
to stop immediately. Who do you know who used it….. Hitler! Instead – use a palm up
gesture. It makes you likeable and says give me what you’ve got because I am giving up I
have. You are showing your hands which increases trust and builds instant rapport which
will ultimately get you what you want; therefore increase your success!
4. Barriers: Physical obstructions are especially detrimental to collaborative efforts.
Take away anything that blocks your view or forms a barrier between you and the rest of
the team. Even during a coffee break, be aware that you may create a barrier by holding